Practice Self-Care: Caregiver Stories: Universal and Uniquely Personal
Proven, practical self-care practices that preserve a caregiver’s health, well-being & capacity to care
C1: Claim Your Caregiving Role
Jane’s Story: There is a Season and a Time
I have been a caregiver many times during the past twenty years. Many members of my immediate and extended family have needed my help as they battled a host of serious illnesses. And I am not alone in this. Many of my close friends have cared for their spouses, parents, and children, too. In some cases, those we love have died, but others now live with chronic conditions that have forever changed their lives. Seeing family and friends suffer has broken my heart and created within me a deep desire to help.
For me, the desire and ability to care for my loved ones was like a precious pearl, secreted away for safe keeping. Our bonds of affection created this pearl of great price. When their days of need arrived, I reached deep within to where the pearl was hidden. Out of love and compassion I redeemed that treasure and spent all its worth to provide for them. Because I have felt their love, I wanted to return it with helpful, caring acts. This is how I became a caregiver. The time of their need became my season of care.
To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven. Is this your season of care? Is this your time to help a loved one? Is it your purpose to be a caregiver? Many people don’t think of themselves as caregivers. They say,
- “I am his wife, not a caregiver.”
- “She’s my mother; after all she’s done for me, it’s the least I can do.”
- “I am just helping my friend; I want to be there for him.”
- “I never thought of myself as a caregiver; I just do things for my Dad.”
- “We’re family; it’s no big deal.”
Sometimes it is a big deal, though, even with the desire and ability to care. Occasionally it is a debt or duty, not voluntarily chosen. Caring for a loved one is not the same as being a paid or professional caregiver. At its best, family caregiving is not employment; it is a testament to, and a repayment of love.
Are you a family caregiver? If you are, recognize the wonderful gifts you give. Claim your caregiver role.
Self-Care Recommendations
What do you mean by “caregiver”?
Within our families, neighborhoods, faith communities, workplaces, health care practices, and circles of friends, we know people of all ages who are caring for loved ones. Today, in any given year over 65 million people in the US provide care for a chronically ill, disabled or aged family member, or special needs child. Based on demographic trends, these numbers are sure to rise in the years ahead. Many of these 65 million people don’t think of themselves as caregivers. They see themselves not heroes but as helpers, who are looking to give back, not get recognition.
There are several kinds of caregivers.
- Professional caregivers are the paid workers or unpaid volunteers who work in health care organizations, faith-based, or community organizations.
- Family caregivers are unpaid individuals who take care of their family members, friends or neighbors. They provide many types of care: emotional support, physical care and help managing household or personal affairs. The amount of time spent on family caregiving can range from a few hours a week to round the clock responsibility.
- Primary caregivers actually deliver care. Those providing hands-on help can be either a professional, family member or friend.
- Secondary caregivers act as backup support to other family members or to professionals who provide direct care.
- Family caregivers may live with the one receiving care or live separately. The name long-distance caregiver applies to those who live more than an hour’s travel distance from a care receiver.
Based on these descriptions, you may recognize yourself, or someone you know, as a family caregiver. Like others, you may not usually think of yourself in these terms, even though you do provide much support for a loved one…it’s just something you do! If you or someone you know is acting as a family caregiver, it is important to identify yourself as a caregiver with important needs. Why?
- Providing ongoing care and assistance can take a physical, financial, emotional, and spiritual toll.
- It can strain your work life and family relations.
- Overlooking the impact of caregiving puts you at risk of feeling isolated, overwhelmed, and becoming ill.
- Support from others and your own self-care can help you stay healthy and strong enough to do one of the most important things you will ever do in life…and that’s good for both you and the one in your care.
So, if you or someone you know is a family caregiver, review these materials. You may have few free moments if you currently are caring for a loved one, but you owe it to yourself to invest some time to find resources and people who can help you. You are not alone. The first steps to receiving the support you need are recognizing your role as caregiver, and the stress that often comes with it.